More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
