I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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