Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
