Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
