I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
