so that wasnt chicken after all
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
