yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
