So drunk its hurt
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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