I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
