she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Farmville is her only friend.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
