3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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