Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
