some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
