You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
