Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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