you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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