this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
