why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
