Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
