# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
