well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We are all done wearing pants today
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
