We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
