i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
