Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
MIDGETS
????
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
