doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
