I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
