i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
