I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
