I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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