White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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