Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
When are your genitals available?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
