He disabled his match.com account in front of me
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
