First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
