i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
