Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
