And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
