my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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