I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
