oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Randomize
