Your face is a jimmy john
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
