**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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