She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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