I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
