duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
