And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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