Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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