Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
