Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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