You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
