ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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