I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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