so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
