she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She bit a glass in half.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
